28 October 2013

The Adulteress: Stones

John 8:1-11

I see their feet.
I don't want to see more.
Soon, I won't.

I hear accusations.
I don't want to hear more.
Soon, I won't.

I feel naked,
bare, in the sight of all,
don't want to feel more,
don't want to feel their stones,
their stones.

My thoughts:
if only I hadn't...
if only he wouldn't...
if only, if only.
His lips that kissed me
no half hour ago -
my heart, stone-cold.
Why is he not here?
Why do I get the stones,
while he gets away?
Why was I so stupid?

I see them shuffling.
I hear discussions.
I feel so numb.
Soon I won't
when their stones hit me
and end it all.

No turning back,
no chance to change,
no sorries,
no forgiveness,
no mercy,
just mockery,
God laughing at me
from the stones they throw
in His name.
cold as a stone,
is that what He is?

I see one drawing in the sand,
I hear: He without sin
shall throw the first stone.
I don't know what to feel.

I see the stones fall, one by one,
into the dust, and not on me.
I hear their footsteps slowly fade.
I don't know what to feel.

What is this now?
Does life start anew?
A chance to change?
Forgiveness and grace?

God is not mocking -
He never did.
Instead he stoops down,
and takes my hand,
lifts me up,
and says:
"Go now and sin no more."


[December 2011]

It's so easy to condemn. But actually we have no right, because we're all sinful. Only God has the right to judge over others, and to take revenge, and to punish. And He will in time. But shouldn't we right now on this earth be giving people the chance to change before they can't anymore? I believe God wants us to give people that chance.

If you let a criminal be sentenced to death, isn't that the most terrible thing you can do? You are in fact cutting him off from salvation, preventing him from having another chance and changing his life, which maybe he wants to. God wants everyone to be saved, no matter how terrible the things they've done. That's one reason why I'm against the death penalty.

Picture by Valentin de Boulogne

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